The other day I was sent a post on facebook, "when you are content to simply be yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you" (apparently a quote by Lao Tzu).  This person asked if I agree.  To be kind and yet honest I said I agreed, sort of.

It really isn't easy to "simply be yourself" let alone to be content in doing (being) so.  So many messages get thrown at me every day.  The media tells me the wrinkles that speckle my lips and the crinkles around my eyes are not ok.  Magazines tell me that I have to be perfect.... perfect in the kitchen, with my kids, in bed, in the business world.  The church tells me I have to be the perfect hostess, the model submissive wife, quiet and dutiful.  Love God but don't be too passionate....serve the food and sweetly teach the children "Jesus Loves Me".   

About 10 years ago I gave up on perfection and started the journey to live content with simply being me.  Living with authenticity and transparency, and balancing that with making sure I honour and respect those around me.  There are times that makes me hold back (so as not to be a stumbling block) and there I times that authenticity wins and a forge ahead.  

This leads me to the "everybody will respect you" bit.  That, I have found is definitely NOT true.  My own experience has been that there are those who will criticize authenticity and transparency no matter how much I am "content" with it.

In another lifetime I was criticized and perhaps even condemned for an act that I find sacred and to me is an act of pure worship.  When I sing or speak, before God, in church or to His people, I remove my shoes.  I used to do it for comfort, but as I allowed God to strip away my "perfection" I found myself sensing His holiness when I approached Him in song or speech.  And this is a way for me to be bare ... no pretense, naked before my God.

When I was told of the displeasure of what some thought of my lack of shoes I was crushed.  I went and literally hid and cried, sobbed really.  But, my merciful, compassionate God told me something different.  He accepted my act of worship, and would not take it away from me.  

I was left at a crossroads to choose.  Do I risk the displeasure of man and "simply be myself" or do I "fall in line" and do what is "church" acceptable.  There was no "right or wrong", just choice.  I chose to ignore the disapproval of man and remain true to my feelings in worship.  I am fairly certain that those who disapproved do not respect me or my choice.

To live authentically is such a freeing way to live, but it can also be the most painful way to live.  One is not necessarily respected or even accepted in their authenticity.  Some are afraid of authenticity, others want control and dismiss attempts at transparency.

So Lao Tzu, those are nice words... but not necessarily true.  Respect comes from those who embrace authenticity.  Respect comes from those who are also on the journey of living contentedly simply being themselves... and really the most important respect is self-respect.  And for me that means living in the tension of choosing to be content simply being myself regardless of whether or not I gain the respect of others.

k